| Postscript to the Travelogue | |
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| A Postscript to the China Trip, after two months home:
Jim: *shaking head* If they say so. Considering that I'm about 1/126th or something Cherokee, I suppose that my ancestors about 30,000 BC beat up on her ancestors in China. But I agree; her personality fits here, and she's enough of a smart individualist that I can't imagine her thriving in a Chinese institution. She is also a real joy to be around; she helps to get me out of my worried and black moods.
Because she had the very large boil on her bottom, congestion and an ear infection, we spent a part of (almost) every day at a doctor's office during the first week. We managed to get an emergency appointment with the pediatrics to look at her ears on Monday. On Tuesday, we had her "newborn" Well Baby visit that I scheduled before we left for China. I was expecting that there would be something that we'd need to see the doctor about. They weighed (17.5 lbs) and measured (28") her, gave her a thorough check up and they took many vials of blood from her. The blood draws were not pleasant for her or for us and Jim had to leave. On Wednesday, she visited a Pediatric surgeon to look at her boil. On Thursday, she had surgery at the hospital to lance the boil. On Friday, she was back at the Pediatritian to have some more blood taken. Everyone (especially Meredith) was upset that they needed so much blood. I think that they needed something like 20cc's of blood. They needed so much to run a whole battery of tests and some were analyzed at the Loyola labs and some were sent out. The Pediatrician finally did a arterial draw to get it all in one stick.
Susan: The doctors and staff at Loyola are the best. They are highly competent and are always mindful of the baby's comfort. The boil on Meredith's bottom was about the size of a golf ball and broke a couple of days before surgery. It was so deep that Dr. Glynn (the surgeon) felt that she wanted to do in surgery with Meredith fully asleep. It's pretty nerve racking to have a child in for any surgery, even though you know that they do this sort of thing all the time and it's going to be quick. I don't ever want to see Meredith in surgery again. She was a real trouper and took it all in stride. Usually they give the kids a mild sedative before they leave their parents, but Meredith was so friendly with the nurses, that they felt they didn't need to. They gave her a couple of whiffs of gas to put her out and the surgery took about 10 minutes. When she went into recovery, they called us in and I was able to hold her. We were there for about an hour after to make sure that she was ok. They gave us wound instructions and made an appointment for Monday and sent us home. While we were there, we noticed that she was very friendly to the female nurses and doctors, but she was very shy with Dr. Glynn's intern/resident (a male).
The boil was so deep that they left the hole open and packed it with gauze. I was to remove an inch of gauze each day until the next appointment. I was NOT looking forward to doing this. Although it was pretty gross for me, it didn't seem to bother Meredith. Later I would have to stick a q-tip dipped in peroxide in the hole twice a day to clean it and then rebandage it. Her skin is so sensitive that she still has marks on her bottom from the adheasive. (Jim, too, has sensitive skin and reacts to tape adhesive). Jim: Very much so. She'll have a dark scar there, but it should be covered by anything short of a bikini. And it'll probably encourage her to wear a one-piece, which won't break my heart. She's going to be a terribly cute teenager, I think - have to keep a shotgun loaded with rocksalt to keep the boys out.
Jim: 'Pass the baby' is where Meredith lunges from whoever is holding her to someone else's arms, and repeats this as if she were a live hand grenade. Adults have trouble not letting her fall when she does this, let alone kids seven years old or younger. Susan: I didn't have to worry about Meredith being overwhelmed, she loved every minute of it all. In fact, she was so busy and didn't want to miss anything that she didn't nap while the kids were around. It really helped to get her adjusted to US CDT time. Kennedi (aka Kenni) who is two also took a real liking to Meredith. Kenni likes to go barefoot whenever possible and always takes her shoes and socks off as soon as she goes inside. So every time Jim: We took a great picture of the two of them playing together; it looks like Kennedi is taking Meredith aside and advising her on how to deal with the whole Baby game. 'Stick with me, kid, I'll show you the ropes...' Susan: On Saturday afternoon, Becky and I took the nieces to a local nursery for a Halloween event. It was the first time, I'd left Meredith for longer than about 20 minutes. Jim was there and so was Mom and the Great Aunts (Marlyce and Carol). We were gone for about 4 hours. When we returned, mom said, something about how well Meredith could pull herself up and how cute she was when she blew kisses. I was blown away. She hadn't done any of that before. So the first time I leave her, she learns two new things! Over the course of the long weekend she also learned bye bye and "hooray" from the girls.
While we were shopping, the nieces took turns pushing Meredith in the stroller. Kailyn was so funny. I think that she introduced Meredith to everyone in the Mall. "Hi! This is Meredith, she's from China." At one point, when we were at Old Navy, Kailyn introduced my jacket to a sales clerk. She'd forgotten that I had picked up Meredith and put my jacket in the stroller. All of the girls are so proud of their new cousin. We'd worked hard to explain to them about China and the adoption. We've given them Asian dolls, and the FCC calendar with pictures of Asian kids to help them get used to seeing an Asian face. Kira has taken pictures of Meredith to school for show & tell. Her class apparently spent some time talking about it. She wants to take Meredith to school when we visit Sioux Falls after Thanksgiving.
My Mom barely got to spend any time with Meredith because the girls mobbed her, but found a few moments and got to rock her to sleep one night. The whole family adores Meredith. Marlyce & Carol, the greatest of Great Aunts, have fun playing with Meredith and go shopping for her on a regular basis. I have yet to buy much for Meredith as far as clothes and toys go because family and friends have been very generous. Mom and Becky brought a bunch of toys and clothes (hand me downs from Kenni and one of Becky's day care kids). And Marlyce and Carol are expert outlet mall shoppers. The receptionist at the doctor's office is always commenting on how well dressed she is. We spent week number two, trying to get some order to our lives and apartment. The last couple of weeks before we left we pretty crazy with trying to get ready to go and in dealing with Jim's mom, who very recently had surgery for cervical cancer. The house was in utter chaos. We were still tired from the trip. And we were still trying to figure out Meredith, get her healthy and settle into a routine. We just pretty much existed that second week and did what we wanted (or needed) when we wanted. Meredith was still not all that interested in Jim. He was ok, if I'm not available.
The fourth and fifth week, we spent settling into a routine. She's sleeping 10-12 hours a night and napping 2-4 hours a day. She's adjusting well and is pretty comfortable with both Jim and I. She loves to push buttons - especially the TV remote and the telephone. She's developing a real attachment to the phone. She will "answer" anything and say "daddy". She still says ayah, but not nearly so often. She also says "daddy" and "hi". At her last well baby visit (one month after she's been home), we found out that she gained 2 pounds and grew one inch. I've been having alot of problems with sore muscles in my back, neck and shoulders from carrying her all over.
We've been trying to get her to use a sippy cup and have gotten mixed results though, after she saw the Hawkins girls using sippy cups, she's making significant progress. She's a great imitator, and is starting to mimic actions and mannerisms of both Jim and I.
Susan: I've also learned alot about being a parent. For example, I now know:
and, there are things that are now suddenly very important:
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Susan: We've been home for a little less than two months and I can't imagine life without Meredith. She brings us so much love and joy that looking back, our lives were so empty, and we didn't even know how much. She's been in our hearts for so long, it seems like we've known her forever. She fits into our family so perfectly. In many ways, she is much like both me and Jim that I forget that she is adopted. We've gotten many comments from people (both Chinese and Caucasian) that she looks so much like Jim that she could be his biological child. To us, she's just Meredith and we don't think much about the fact that she is Asian.
Susan: The first week home was rough. We were all jet lagged and not on US time, but not on China time either. Fortunately Jim took two weeks off of work after we got home. It's been tough financially, but well worth the sacrifice to have him home with us. I learned to sleep when Meredith did. At that point, she was still "velcro" baby and was very clingy to me. She hadn't had much experience with men and Jim is big and hairy. The hairy part (arms, chest, beard) took a couple of weeks to get over.
Jim: I couldn't watch the sticks; it was too traumatic for this needle-phobic person. Basically, it took us a week to be back fully on local time because we were terribly exhausted from the trip (and especially the long plane ride). 
She never cried (except for a bottle). She couldn't have breakfast because of the surgery and was VERY hungry when she came out. They tried to give her a little apple juice (cold) to make sure that her stomach could handle it, but she didn't want any of it. Then they tried water. She didn't want that either. Finally, they just gave her a bottle of formula and she inhaled it. So they gave her another. 
Susan: On Saturday (the next day), my Mom, Sister in Law Becky, and all four nieces arrived from South Dakota for a visit and to check out Meredith. I was a little concerned that the girls might overwhelm Meredith - they are four very active little girls who have been not so patiently waiting for Meredith to come home. Kelbi, who is four, has been asking for months 'You got her yet?'. She also had dibs on holding Meredith first (after Grandma). She even told Jim to write it down. Kelbi loves babies - all babies - and spent the entire weekend swarming Meredith. Every time we turned around we'd have to tell Kelbi to "put her down". Then Meredith would crawl after Kelbi for more. Kelbi was thrilled when Meredith first played the "pass the baby" game with her and I.
Kenni took her own shoes and socks off, she's also take Meredith's shoes and socks off. Kenni was even sharing her blankie with Meredith (and NO ONE gets to share Kenni's blankie). We call it the Kenni rule of baby care: Whenever possible, take the shoes (and socks) off.
Mom, Becky and the girls were staying at my Aunt's house since they have more room and could better accommodate everyone. Meredith and I stayed over one night, too. I was just too tired to drive home (over an hour away). Becky and I took all 5 girls shopping at the outlet mall and Mom stayed home and did some laundry for me. The girls wanted to take a bath in Marlyce and Carol's new, big bath tub. It's big enough for all 4 of the nieces to take a bath together. They had a ball and Kenni didn't want to get out, ever. They were disappointed that I wouldn't let Meredith in too. Maybe when they visit this summer.
We'd gone out to eat a few times while the family was visiting and everyone would get a kick out of Meredith and her eating habits. Just keep it coming. If you were too slow, Meredith would either growl or yell at you. The nieces kept telling us "Don't mess with the baby's food". It became the motto for the weekend. Meredith is still very serious about her food, but at that point, she was downright demanding, and NOT patient at all. 
The third week, Jim went back to work. Meredith and I were still making the rounds in introducing her to her adoring public. On Tuesday, Meredith and I sent downtown with Jim to show off the baby and to get her Social Security card. She had great fun playing "cute baby". It's hard work charming that many people and she fell asleep on the train on the way back. I think that she really missed Jim that first week and she started to show some interest in playing with him in the evenings. We've found that she really likes to have both parents in close proximity, ready to meet her every need (and tickle her feet and toss her in the air).
Right now, she's a happy healthy and well adjusted baby. She's on target developmentally and jabbers to herself all the time. I have the feeling that she's going to make her feelings known... She is always busy, pulls herself up and cruises the furniture. It won't be long before she's walking. She loves music and will dance to anything with a good beat. She will also sing along to the tunes on her musical crib toy. Her favorite activity is eating. She really enjoys sitting at the table with Jim and I. Now that she has slowed down with food, she's being a little more choosey about what and how she eats. She does not like pureed baby food. She prefers food with texture and she really likes to feed herself. Crackers, cheerios, etc are great. The next step is to use a spoon. 
Jim: Which, of course, only makes sense. We're the people she sees and patterns herself against. It makes me very loathe to put her in day care in January (when Susan goes back to work), but financially, we're taking too much of a hit to not do so.